How I cried, that first day of kindergarten! I remember it too well, grabbing on to my mothers dress and sobbing into her. How difficult it must have been for her. And it didn't get any better, either. In fact, I cried so many mornings they decided I wasn't ready for kindergarten at all, and took me out. But that didn't stop my crying. I cried Every Single Day of the school year up until grade four. Not just crying...sobbing till I lost my breath...and/ or threw up. I remember one of my brothers, who walked me to school, getting so angry with me because I wouldn't stop crying. He must have hated having to take me...
I'm not quite sure what the difference grade four made, but suddenly I loved school. Miss Harvey, my teacher, might have made the difference. Or the fact that I finally received the eyeglasses I needed to see! But everything turned around then, much to the relief of my mom and, probably, the rest of my family...
My mother must have been beside herself, honestly. I remember you, J and E, having trouble as well. It was so not easy to leave you there, crying. I would stand outside the door and cry myself. But eventually you did settle in, and way before grade four, too.
Back when I was little, there was no access to school counsellors - I don't even know if the position existed - but I'm pretty sure I needed one. No child should have to be so frightened for so many years to leave her mothers side. Knowing all I know now, I understand more about the why. But I still feel sad for that little girl, who didn't get what she needed back then...
I was, though, a pretty needy child, all around. Highly sensitive is the name they give to us now. There are even books about Highly Sensitive people! We now know so much more than when I was young! I think this is a great time to be living, for so many reasons...
Just some thoughts for today... :)
Love you,
Mom
No comments:
Post a Comment